My problematic drinking started from the first time I got drunk. I was 14 and shared a bottle of vodka with friends. From then, I was a typical binge drinker, the kind of drinking that is so normalised in the UK. In my late teens and early 20s, every weekend was a blur of boozy nights out and debilitating hangovers.

Soon, the weekends turned into mid-week. I was dealing with a severe eating disorder and trying to juggle the stress of life whilst struggling just to get through the day. Soon I was buying boxes of wine because it was “Economical” and numbing myself further with drugs.

It was only after falling pregnant at 24 that alcohol took a back seat in my life for a few years. I had two babies in quick succession and soon after their dad and I separated. I struggled to adapt to life
as a single parent and alcohol soon began to feature more in my life. Toxic relationships along with the pressures of being a single parent soon started taking their toll. By my late 20s, I was back to drinking heavily, often alone.

When I was drinking, I was not the kind of person I wanted to be. I was short tempered, anxious, self loathing. My relationships were very toxic and I found myself being hurt again and again. On some level I believed that it was what I deserved. That I was unlovable and deserved to be unhappy.

When I was drinking, I was not the kind of person I wanted to be. I was short tempered, anxious, self loathing. My relationships were very toxic and I found myself being hurt again and again. On some level I believed that it was what I deserved. That I was unlovable and deserved to be unhappy.

After a number of attempts at moderation and subsequently trying to quit booze, I knew I had a problem. Life was feeling increasingly difficult and the one denominator was how much I was drinking. Following a very turbulent year in 2017, my drinking was at an all time high and mental health at an all time low. Early in 2018 I knew that I had to make big changes if I ever wanted to be happy.

I finally plucked up the courage to stop drinking on the 24th of March 2018 and I haven’t looked back since. I started my journey with doing a 90 day sobriety challenge called “Sober Spring” organised by Catherine Gray and while I never said that it was the end of drinking for me at the time, I soon knew that the change would be a permanent one.

After an initial adjustment period I began to reap the rewards of sobriety. I was sleeping properly for the first time in years, meaning I had the energy to fill all my newfound time with all the money I was saving. Not only did I feel healthier, but I looked healthier. My skin and hair have never looked better. My mental health has improved dramatically, extreme mood swings are a thing of the past and my anxiety is in check.

Socialising is different. I had to learn how to re-frame events and nights out without the focus being on alcohol. This was made indefinitely easier by meeting other likeminded sober people and with the availability of so many delicious alcohol-free drinks.

Most importantly, getting sober has allowed me to find the space to start healing myself. To fully feel and process things that have happened to me and things that continue to come up. I know that I wouldn’t have progressed in the way that I have, if I was still using alcohol as a crutch. While sobriety isn’t a magic fix for all of life’s problems, taking it out of the mix means you are able to handle what life throws at you in a much healthier way.